Harvest Moon
by Angel of Despair
Summary: Alice never saw Bella jump off the cliff. In fact Alice hasn't had a vision of Bella in years. It is now six years later and Bella is starting to move on in her life. She is engaged to Jacob. What will she do when Edward comes back?
1. Chapter 1

I walked down the hallway. I could hear the cries coming from Charlie.

"Run Bella!" he shouted. "Get out of here before it's too late!"

I could hear her voice taunting him back. It had a sickly sweetness to it. It reminded me

of his voice.

"Foolish man," she taunted. "Your daughter can run all she wants, but she won't escape me."

I opened the door to his room. I could feel the fear rushing through my body, but I had no choice. He was my father. I had to try and save him somehow.

I opened the door to Charlie's room, but it was as if I was suddenly standing in the alternate reality. Charlie and Victoria weren't in the room. In fact the room was no longer a room, but instead it had transformed into a meadow- our meadow.

"Bella," a sweet voice muttered, "My sweet Isabella."

I walked towards the center of the meadow in hopes that I would be able to locate the source of the voice.

"Bella," it called again, and I felt two cold arms encompass my body. I twisted my body around excited that after all this time I would finally be able to see his face- to see the perfect features that I had missed for so long.

"Edward," I muttered, and I went to gaze into his eyes only to have my own eyes open.

I looked at the room around me. There was no meadow. There was no Edward. Once again, it had all been a figment of my dreams. I could feel the sobs beginning to shake through my body.

"Breathe Bella. Just Breathe," I muttered to myself as I sat up in bed.

"Are you okay, love?" Jacob asked. I glanced at the man who had been sleeping next to me- the man who was not Edward.

"I just had another dream last night," I responded. There was no need to tell him what the dream was exactly. He already knew.

"But you didn't wake up screaming," Jacob stated.

For a brief moment, I debated telling him the other half of the dream. All Jake knew was that I had dreamed about Charlie dying. Did I really want to tell him that I didn't scream because this one ended with me being reunited with Edward? A part of me was tempted to end the charade we had started long ago, but I realized that I couldn't. After all, it would hardly be fair of me to make us both miserable because I could not let go of the past.

"I woke up before I saw him die," I lied.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me.

"It's okay Bells," he muttered soothingly. "I'm here with you. Nothing will ever happen to you again. I promise. I'll protect both you and our future family. No bloodsucker will ever hurt you again."

I laid my head against his chest sobbing until I fell back to sleep. All I could think of while I was there was how wrong Jacob was. It was too late. A vampire had already hurt me beyond repair and no matter how much I tried to pretend otherwise, no soothing words from Jake could ever change that.

In my life there were three things I was absolutely positive. First, Jacob loved me. Second, there was a small part of me that loved him too. And third, that despite that love I was already unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.


	2. Chapter 2

I slept soundly through the rest of the night and woke up to find the sun making a rare appearance through the window.

"Morning Bella," Jake said as he laid a tender kiss on my forehead.

I smiled up at him, regretting my thoughts betrayal from the night. "I'm sorry I woke you up last night."

Jake leaned towards me in bed so that our bodies were facing each other. A hand darted out and he stoked my hair. "It's okay. I had literally just arrived home from patrol and climbed into bed when you woke up. Besides, even if I had been asleep, I wouldn't have minded. I want to be here for you Bella. I would never have asked you to marry me if I didn't."

I could feel the guilt sinking in even deeper. A far corner of my mind played with the thought of telling him no, I couldn't marry him after all. Yet, the more rational part of my mind countered that there was no point in breaking his heart. After all, it had been six almost seven years since Edward had left. Edward was never coming back. There was no point in breaking both our hearts.

I kissed him gently on the lips. "I know."

I climbed out of bed and started getting ready for work.

"How did patrol go last night?" I asked casually. Desperate to get my thoughts away from my dream.

"Alright, apparently Sam stumbled upon a group of bloodsuckers' scent last night. He's calling a meeting tonight about it," Jacob replied.

"A meeting? That's a bit weird isn't it? Why didn't Sam and the others just take care of it then?" I asked only really half curious.

I watched Jacob's reflection from the mirror as I pulled back my hair. He seemed as though he having an inner debate with himself on whether or not to continue this conversation. As if a part of him was worried about how I might react to his news.

"They're back," I said as the realization dawned on me. The Cullens had to be back. Why else would Jacob be so reluctant to tell me.

"We don't know if it's them or not," Jacob said. "After all, none of us have accounted their particular scents for quite some time. It may be that it's a group of bloodsuckers who have embraced a similar lifestyle. We just chose not to attack them yet because when Seth came across them they were feasting off of some deer. Sam figured it best that we don't attack in cold blood in case we'd violate the treaty. Sam's going to try to learn more about them today. In any case, he wants you to be at the meeting tonight."

"Of course I'll be there," I replied. I could feel a distant part of my heart awakening. Edward might be back. I glanced at Jacob. He was staring at me in worry. I made my best effort to beat down my hope. After all, I didn't want to lose Jacob over nothing.

I walked over to where he stood next to the bed.

"Don't worry," I told him. "Even if they are back, you're the one I'm with."

I kissed him gently on the cheek.

"That might be the case, but if they're back am I the one you want to be with?" Jake asked. I looked carefully into his eyes. In my head I found myself thinking back to the Romeo and Juliet analogy I had used years ago. What if Juliet had turned to Paris for comfort only to have Romeo to return home? Would she have stayed with the man who had not abandoned her or return to the love she could never forget? And who is to say that even after all this time Romeo even wanted her? What if he only came back because he believed she had forgotten?

Yet, how could Romeo even think that Juliet had forgotten about him? Surely, he had to know how much she had cared. It would be impossible to return to someone who had completely disregarded her feelings for him. Besides in Edward's case he had failed in a way that Romeo never could. He had failed to come back at the moment in which I had needed him the most. The moment that he should have known I would have.

I glanced at the crescent shaped scar on my hand before replying to Jacob. "You're the one I want to be with. You were there for me when he left and you were there for me when Charlie died. You've never once abandoned me. Why would you even think that I would abandon you?"

"You're right," Jacob replied. He smiled lovingly at me. "After all, what we have is the real deal."

I returned to getting ready for work while in the meantime feeling somewhat guilty over what I had told Jake because in reality, despite the fact that he had always been there for me, I wasn't certain of whether or not I would go running back into Edward's arms. After all, I couldn't be certain how I would react automatically at his presence.

I climbed on my motorcycle. After the morning's events, a part of me debated on being rational and proceeding with caution on my way to work. I started down the road at a normal safe pace only to throw caution the way of the wind. After all, even if I could never be with him, even if I could never see him again, the least I could do is hear his voice.

I sped into my parking space at the station.

"A bit reckless aren't we?" Mike teased as I climbed off my bike.

"Good thing I'm the chief of police," I replied back.

"Good thing," Mike replied. "Although you might want to be careful, we wouldn't want Forks' youngest and prettiest police chief ever to have an untimely death due to speeding. After all, what kind of message would that spread to the youth?"

"That you shouldn't speed," I replied. I walked passed Mike entering the station. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked. All time had manage to do with Mike was making him even perverted. I could feel him undressing me with his eyes.

I sat at my desk and allowed myself to fall into my normal Monday routine of paperwork. I was glad that Mike had to leave the station to patrol so I wouldn't have to submit myself to even more of his unwanted gaze.

At lunchtime I heard a familiar voice call out to me from within the station.

"Bella!" Jessica cried cheerfully. "I'm so excited to see you."

She embraced me into an awkward hug. A hug made awkward by the fact that she was six months pregnant with her second child.

"I've been asking Mike forever about your wedding plans. I want to know everything, but Mikey always forgets to ask you," she rattled on.

In my head, I laughed at how Mike would cringe if he heard her call him that. Despite his noticeable interest in me, it didn't take Mike long after high school to knock Jessica up. Being the well brought up lad that he was, they quickly entered into a shotgun wedding. Jessica couldn't have been any happier with the life she now led. Mike, however, had second thoughts. Yet like me, Mike wouldn't give up something good for a mere might have been.

"Mike wouldn't be able to tell you much I'm afraid," I told Jessica. "I'm not really planning my own wedding. Emily has pretty much taken control of things. After all, if it was up to me I would just get married in jeans."

Jessica bit her lip at that comment. Remembering how big of deal she had made out of her own ceremony I wasn't surprised.

Suddenly, she bent down close to me, and in a whisper said, "You're not pregnant, are you? After all, I can't help wondering why else you would be getting married so quickly and keeping the wedding so small. I've been on Mike to ask you ever since I found out that you were getting married at the beach at La Push."

It figured Jessica would rationalize that anyone who didn't desire to be the center of attention for a day was doing it because they were trying to hide the fact that they had been knocked up.

"No, Jessica, I'm not pregnant," I replied a bit grumpy than what she deserved.

"Well, that's a pity. I was hoping you were so that when our babies got older we could arrange play dates. Anyways, I think I just saw Mikey pull up. See you later Bella! And don't forget to send me the invite."

"I won't," I replied as Jessica rushed to where Mike's patrol car now sat in the parking.

I sighed as I returned to my paperwork. It seemed strange to think about the future in which Jake and I would have kids and things like play dates would become everyday life. It didn't feel like such a normal thing could ever be a part of my everyday life. I rushed to get through the rest of my work, eager for the few moments I'd have to spend with Emily before the meeting began. After the events of the day, I looked forward to being able to talk about things with someone I knew would understand.


	3. Chapter 3

I sped eagerly to La Push. I couldn't wait to see Emily, to have a kindred spirit to confide in. Back in high school after Alice left, I always went to Angela, but over time as I began to become closer to the people at La Push, I started to confide in Emily where I would earlier have gone to others.

"Hey Bella," Emily called as I let myself into the room. "How's it going vampire girl?"

I smiled very lightly in response.

"It was one of those days, huh Bells?" Emily asked. I joined her at the kitchen counter where she was preparing food for the meeting tonight. We both knew how much the wolves could eat.

"I dreamed about him last night," I told her. I watched carefully to gauge her reaction, but she merely continued peeling potatoes.

"Oh," she replied because there was no need to tell her who him was.

"It gets worse. I pushed my bike to its limit today just so I could hear his voice. I care about Jake, but even after six years I can't get him out of my head. I want to forget about him, but I can't," I told her. Emily still just sat there peeling the potatoes. I loved that trait about Emily. No matter what I talked to her about she always thought through everything before saying anything.

She finally glanced up at me. "Do you still love him?" she asked.

I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't sure whether or not I should tell her the truth, but then I figured it would be pointless of me to lie. After all, she had probably already guessed the truth behind the façade ages ago.

My mind dwelt to the night Jake and I had gotten engaged. It had been five years ago, and my friendship with Emily was still pretty fresh.

"He asked you?" Emily asked as I hurried into her house. Jake had wanted to go off to celebrate, but I knew Emily would be dying to hear the news. Besides I could tell that Jake was eager to transform so he could share the news with the whole pack.

I nodded excitedly in response. Emily looked me over in consideration for a moment, carefully choosing the words she would say next.

"I guess you won't be vampire girl anymore then. You'll be a wolf girl like me."

At that moment, I felt the color drain from my face. It didn't make sense. I was in love with Jacob. I had been happy when he proposed. So why did my no longer being vampire girl matter so much to me? I should be happy that I was a wolf girl- that someone had wanted me.

"It's okay Bella," Emily comforted me. I felt myself coming back to Earth. Emily was looking at me her face full of concern. "You will always be vampire girl to me."

I smiled at her and suddenly, it was okay that Jacob and I were engaged, but at the same time, the charade I had built so long ago crumbled. I think at that moment both Emily and I realized that the one I really loved was Edward. It wasn't too long after that I started to tell her about my dreams. Talking to Emily helped. It made it so I could stop waking up screaming every night. Nowadays, it was only ever once in a while.

Taking my mind back into the present, I replied, "Do you really need to even ask me that?"

Emily stopped peeling the potatoes. Taking me by the hand she led me to the nearby kitchen table and sat me down in one of the chairs.

"What about Jake?" she asked. Of course, she would be worried about him. After all, he was her friend too.

I glanced down. "Kind of, but it's not the same. A part of me thinks that Jake knows that though."

"Oh, Bells," Emily sighed. It felt strange to finally be voicing the thoughts that had plagued me for so long.

"I don't know what to do, Ems. I love Jacob. You know I love Jacob, but it's not the same. I can't get Edward out of my head. I've never been able to."

Emily picked a napkin up off the table and started twittering with it.

"I never stopped loving him," I told Emily. "I don't think I ever will."

Emily gazed at me. I watched her scarred face trying to figure out what she was thinking. What wise advice she might have to impart upon me. Eventually, she spoke, but it wasn't the words I had been expected. "It's almost like you imprinted on him."

"I know," I replied. "What I felt for him was so strong, a lot stronger than anything I've ever felt for Jake."

"Bella, why are you marrying Jake?" Emily asked in all seriousness. "If you love Edward so much, why aren't you out there searching for him? Why are you here with Jake?"

I looked at her. I hadn't expected Emily to ask me this. After all, I thought she would be the one to understand.

"Because I love him as well," I replied. "Jake's been there for me through everything. He loves me unconditionally. He wants to be with me. Edward doesn't want me."

"Do you really think that is the best thing to base a lifetime off of?" Emily asked.

I got up from my seat. "Is there any reason not to? We love each other. Even if it's not what I thought it would be like when I was seventeen. It doesn't make it less real. I need some air. I'll be back."

I hurried out the front door. My mind debating what Emily had said to me. Maybe things aren't meant to be with Jake? Maybe I should go searching for Edward? But what would be the point of that? He would know I was looking. Alice would warn him if I got close. Even if I did find him, that wouldn't necessarily make him want me. It was better that I stayed with Jake. At least then one of us was happy.

"She doesn't get it does she?" I heard Leah's voice call as I exited the house. I glanced at where she was leaning next to the house, right next to the window to the kitchen.

"What do you want Leah?" I sighed. I hated talking to Leah. She was nothing ever but miserable. It's like she never once tried to pick up the pieces after Sam left her. At the same time though, I wondered if that is what I would have been like if Edward hadn't made a clean break. If he had rejected me, and I still had to see him every single day.

"Why are you so bitter towards me Bella? After all, we're in the same boat. Both lost the futures that we wanted."

I stared at where she leaned. My mind couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying. Usually, she was the one acting bitter towards me.

"I would do the same thing as you," she continued on. "That is if someone else had ever wanted me, but I'm stuck here, and let's face it. Everyone here just thinks of me as the bitter old Leah. Why would any guy want to be with me? I wish I could escape this place. So believe me, unlike the perfect little Emily in there, I understand what you're going through. I would pick second best just like you."

"You don't know Leah. The supposed love of your life left you because he fell in love with someone against their choice. Sam didn't pick to fall in love with Emily it just happened. Frankly, I think he was luckier for it," I dished it back at her. In my head though, I knew she was right. Jake was my Paris, not my Romeo.

"Fine," Leah scowled. "Don't talk to the one person who might actually understand what you're going through. See if I try to be nice to you again."

I watched as she stormed off in the direction of the woods. I could tell she wasn't too angry given that she hadn't phased.

I wandered down to along the coast until I found a piece of driftwood to sit on. I sat there staring at the sea. I allowed my mind to wander. My thoughts dwelt to the meadow and biology class, to the house with the one gigantic window along its back wall. From there I let my minds fix on Jake's garage to sitting there as he fixed up his rabbit. Jake's teaching me to ride my motorcycle. I smiled at the memories that I had of Jake. The memories that I knew he shared and treasured. It gave me the answer I was looking for.

Maybe the Cullens are back. In any case, they had made no attempt to contact me. Why should I give up the little semblance of life I had left? Jake and the others they were my family here. They were what kept me in Forks. They were the reason I was alive and sitting here today. I wasn't going to give that up. Not for a might have been.

I sat there on the beach until it was time for the meeting to start. I knew I should go back and face Emily, face Leah, but I wasn't quite ready yet. I knew Emily wouldn't mind. After all, she had only said those things to me because she wanted me to sort out my thoughts. She wanted me to be certain of Jacob.

She stared at me as I found a place to sit around the bonfire. I returned her look with one of my own. I hoped it said that I understood what she had said. I had thought about it, and I chose Jake. I think I succeeded because she meant my gaze with a smile.

Jake sunk down next to me. Placing his arm around me so that if the bonfire wasn't enough to keep me warm, he definitely would.

"How are you doing today love?" Jake asked as he nuzzled my neck.

I smiled. "Fine, now that you're here."

Jake held me even tighter in his arms. "I hope you keep thinking that."

I wondered what he meant at those words. The tone of his voice suggested that he was afraid that he was going to lose me.

Uncertain on how to ease his fears, I merely whispered back, "I will."

Sam took his place of leadership around the circle. His face was serious and held an air of gloom to it. He glanced at Jake and me with a sad smile before he began. It was as if he knew what he said now could change everything for us.

"It's the Cullens," Sam said not cutting around the chase. "We tracked the scent today. It's not as many as last time. The blonde girl and large boy aren't here."

Rosalie and Emmett, I thought in my head. If they're the only ones not here, then that meant that Edward was here. Edward was back and he had made no attempt to contact me. Correction that meant that Alice was back as well. Neither of them had attempted to contact me. My best friend and what was once the love of my life.

It couldn't be the case. They couldn't be back or else they would have. Why else would they have come back?

I could feel myself fighting back tears. "Can we go home?" I whispered to Jake.

He glanced to where Sam sat. They exchanged a look, and Jake lead me away from the circle and to where he had parked the truck. He led me to the passenger's side and made sure I was situated before loading my bike into the bed.

He didn't say a word to me from during the whole time it took to drive home and for us to climb into bed. I could tell he was worried about me, but I felt too lost in my own head to focus on anything happening in the world around me.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day I woke up and was determined to not go seeking out the Cullens. If they wanted anything to do with me, they'd seek me out. I spent a good portion of the morning hoping that I would see them while also hoping they would stay away.

I was patrolling in my cop car when I suddenly saw a black Ferrari speed down the road. I flashed my lights on.

"Stupid teenagers," I muttered as I climbed out of my car. As I walked to the driver's window, I could feel my heart rate pick. I couldn't help but wonder if it was him. His built in radar detect wouldn't work with me after all.

"Bella!" a pixie like girl screams as she suddenly jumps out of the driver side door.

"I've missed you so much! Look at you! I never guessed you'd become a cop. They really should do something about the uniforms though. They should make them a lot cuter for the female cops," she exclaimed while grabbing me into a tight hug.

It took me a moment to gather my bearings and find my voice again.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"We've returned to Forks," Alice replied.

"I realize that, but why?"

"God, Bella do you realize how bad you smell," and she released me from her grasp. "It will definitely make things easier when Edward sees you. What have you adopted a bunch of dogs or something?"

"Answer my question first," I replied.

"But it's such silly question," Alice said. "We're back for you."

"That can't be the case," I said quickly. "Edward said that he didn't want me, and I would never see any of you again. So why are you back?"  
"Nope," said Alice. "This time you have to answer my question."

"I smell like dogs . . ." I hesitated for a moment wondering if I should tell her the true reason. "Because I 'm engaged to a werewolf."

"No!" Alice gasped. "Bella you didn't!"

"We're getting married next month," I replied.

Alice concentrated for a moment. "No, you're not Bella," Alice stated smartly.

"Yes, Alice. I am."

"No," said Alice, "because I have a vision of you in a wedding dress and while I can't see who you're marrying it has to be Edward because he would never let you marry a dog."

"That dog's name is Jacob Black, and he's been the only person in my life for the pass five and a half years. After Charlie died, he has been all that I have. Edward, you, everyone else they abandoned me to almost die by Victoria and because of you Charlie's dead. If I had never met any of you, Charlie might still be alive!" I yelled. It was often that I got angry nowadays, but when I do, I get really worked up.

"Calm down Bella," Alice said, and I could hear her muttering to herself that she wished Jasper was here.

"If I had seen Charlie dying, we would have been here in a moment, but I saw nothing. For the most part I respected Edward's wishes and didn't openly look for you in my visions. When I did ignore him though which actually happened a bit more frequently than I would care to admit, I saw nothing. It was like you had disappeared. I couldn't find you anywhere in my sight for about five and a half years. I spoke to Carlisle about it, but all he could think of was that the same ability that shields you from Edward now shields you from me as well. Yet, now I don't know because out of no where I suddenly got a vision of you telling some scarred up girl that you were getting married and that you weren't sure what you would do if Edward came back. It was clear when I saw you then that you hadn't gotten over Edward, just like he's failed to get over you. So I used the excuse that you appeared in my vision and thw we all had to come back here because you were in danger. I'm sorry I didn't see what happened to Charlie."

"It's okay Alice," I replied. "You can't see everything. Although how do you get me being in danger from that vision?"

"Easy," Alice smiled. "You're in danger of marrying the wrong man. Besides I actually did have a vision of the Volturri coming to this area for some reason although I don't know why yet. When I told them about that vision and how I saw you in danger, they just sort of jumped to conclusions."

"Couldn't Edward tell that you were lying?" I asked.

"No, I told everyone else when he wasn't around," Alice smiled smugly.

"And is Edward here to?" I brought myself to ask.

"Yes. Do you really think he would have stayed behind?"

I could feel the small piece of my heart that had healed from my time with Jacob start to break.

"I have to go," and I hurried back to my cop car.

"Bella wait!" Alice called after me, but I ignored her.


	5. Chapter 5

I radioed into the police station telling them that I was sick and would be going home. They didn't care. Nothing major ever happened in Forks. Nothing but vampires that is.

I went back to the house that Jacob and I now share, Charlie's house. It seems so long ago from when Charlie was alive and I was happy, normal even with Edward.

As I enter through the front door, I can see that Jacob isn't home yet. Glancing at the clock I realize that it's only around one o'clock which meant I only had a few hours until he got home.

I went upstairs to the bedroom that Jacob and I now shared. We had talked about us moving into Charlie's old bedroom because it was bigger, but I couldn't bear the thought.

When I entered the room, I pulled up the floor board under which I had discovered the CD Edward had made for with my lullaby. I put it into the CD player and listened to it again for the first time in six years. I went to bed and started to cry.

"Bella!" I heard Jake call from downstairs a few hours later. I ignored him. I had stopped sobbing a while ago, but all I could do now was stare at the wall.

"Bella," Jack said as he glanced in the room. When he saw me lying in the bed, he came rushing over.

"Oh Bella," he said and picked me up into his arms. "What's wrong?"

I said nothing so Jake just rocked me in his arms until I fell asleep.

"Bella," Jake nudged me awake the next morning. "Do you feel like doing anything today? It's Saturday. We could always go see Emily if you would like."

"No thanks, Jake. You go," I replied and turned over.

"Please Bella. You've been doing so well. You can't let the bloodsucker's return ruin your life. Just ignore him Bells. We can even stay in La Push for a while. You wouldn't have to see him there."

"I'm sorry Jake," I say. "I just don't feel like doing anything. You go Jake. Tell Emily I say hi."

"I don't want to leave you Bells," Jacob says.

"It's okay. I feel like being alone. I think I might go to my meadow," I reply trying to act a little more normal so he'd be more willing to leave.

"Ok Bells. I love you. Just be careful," he says.

"I will and I love you too Jake."

I wait until he's been gone for awhile before I leave. On a whim I dress in the same outfit I wore when I first went to the meadow. It was the first time I wore it in yeaers.

I took my bike because my truck had reached the end of its life a few years earlier, and I didn't feel like driving a cruiser around.

It was around noon when I finally reached it and the sun was starting to burst out from behind the clouds.

I reached the opening and my heart stopped. Standing in the center of the meadow was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The shining figure turned and saw me. I turned to run but it was too late. He was in front of me before I had the chance to go anywhere.

"Bella," He said, and he encompassed me into his arms. Just as quickly as he had grabbed hold of me, he let me go.

"You stink. I guess Alice wasn't lying about you hanging out with dogs," Edward said.

"Werewolves," I corrected quietly.

"Same difference. I've missed you Bella," he said.

"I thought you could be easily distracted," I replied.

"Not that easily," he said. He was gazing at me intensely. I diverted my look to the ground.

"I saw Alice yesterday," I said.

"I know," he replied. "She wasn't suppose to see you."

"That's okay," I replied. "I'm glad she did. I've missed her. Did she tell you Charlie's dead?" I asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry Bella. I wish I could have been around to save him, but what I don't get is you. How are you alive if Victoria came after you?" Edward asked.

"Jacob saved me. He wasn't able to get to Charlie in time. He tried though. Jake manage to kill her before she got to me though," I said.

"I'm glad," Edward said. "Not that Charlie's dead, but that your safe. I don'w know what I would do if anything happened to you."

"I think you would be fine Edward. You've lasted this long without me," I replied.

"Do you think I have done fine with you Bella? My family can attest, I have been nothing without you. I have spent the past few years moping, fighting against every desire to return to you because I wanted to keep you safe. I love you Bella. I always have, and I always will," Edward said.

"It's too late Edward," I said. "Even if you're telling the truth, I'm getting married to Jacob in a month."

"Do you love him?"Edward asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Do you love him more than you love me?"

"No," I find myself saying. "But he was there for me when you weren't."

"I'm here for you now," Edward states.

"But for how long?" I ask. He grimaces as though I had injured him.

"For as long as you want me here," he replies.

"You've said that before," I state. If I had thought that I was causing him pain a moment ago, that had nothing to compare with the pain I was causing him now.

" I won't leave you this time," Edward says and he cups the side of my face with his hand.

"I wish I could believe you," I replied and I swat his arm away. He looks even worse now.

"As long as I know you love me more, I am not giving up on you Bella. I will win you back," he said.

"Did Alice tell you that?" I asked.

"She didn't have to," Edward replied. He kissed me quickly on the cheek and then sped off before I could say or do anything in response.

I stood there for a moment with a slight smile on my face. I picked a flower from the ground. Plucking a petal I thought 'He loves me', plucking another 'He loves me not'; I plucked the last petal 'He loves me'. I smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

When I got home I started making dinner for Jake and me. I made steak and mashed potatoes knowing that was one of his favorites.

"Hey Bells," he calls as he entered the house. "Dinner smells good."

"Thanks," I replied. I turned and smiled at him.

The smile on his face quickly faded. "You saw the bloodsucker, didn't you?"

"Yes," I replied and glanced away from him.

"And?"

"He said he loves me," I replied.

"Oh," Jake said. "Are you sure he meant it?"

"I don't know."

"And our wedding? Do you still want to marry me?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know," I responded because despite what I had told Edward earlier, I really wasn't sure if I still wanted to marry Jacob.

"Geez, Bells. I don't know if that's good enough. I've stayed by you, been there for you, for the past five and a half years and you go rushing back to the bloodsucker as soon as he comes back. I thought you loved me. Do you really think going back to him is such a great idea?"

"I do love you Jacob. I just love Edward too. You know that though. You've known all this time that I've never stopped loving him. My love for him is a huge part of who I am. I can't just shut it off because you want me to. If you loved me Jake, you would just accept that. I thought you already had," I replied.

"Whatever Bells," Jacob said. "Let me know when you figure things out. For the meantime I'm going to stay with Billy in La Push. Sam would rather I was there right now anyways."

"Jacob don't go," I said, but I was too late; he had already run out the door.

I sat at the table and just buried my face in my arms.

"Bella," I thought I heard a voice call. I looked up groggily. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep. Glancing at the microwave clock I saw that it was now one in the morning.

"I can't believe that Jake left," I muttered to myself. I thought about calling Emily, but I figured she would probably be asleep right now. I didn't want to be alone though.

I pulled out my cell and found myself dialing the number of a person I hadn't called in a long time. Someone who wouldn't be sleeping. I could only hope that the number hadn't changed in the past few years.

"Hello," said the voice on the other end.

"Alice," I have sobbed into the phone.

"I'm on my way," she replied and the line went dead.

Twenty minutes later I found myself riding in Alice's car on my way to have a sleepover.

"So what happened?" Alice asked after giving me some time to collect myself.

"Jake left, and I couldn't bear the thought of staying in this house alone. I felt what was left of my life, of my family had just abandoned me when he walked out that door. Sometimes, I think I should just sell the house, leave Forks, and find some place where I'm no longer this Bella. A place that doesn't remind me of the fact that everyone I love just leaves."

"Don't be silly, Bella," Alice said. "I didn't want to leave you, and I came back."

"You came back Alice, but you still left in the first place. I wasn't worth it. You guys didn't want me enough in your lives to stay," I replied.

"Bella, you're worth it. We left because we felt that you were worth saving because we felt you deserved all the things are lifestyle wouldn't provide you with. Although I also want to point out that I felt that you were worth coming back for. I knew that this Jacob wasn't right for you the moment I had that vision," Alice said.

"I love Jacob," I told her.

"I know Bella, but are you in love with him?" she asked.

"No," I replied in a whisper.

We reached the Cullens house, and Alice realizing that I was tired put me straight to bed.

"Here," Alice said shoving me into the room that I know belonged to Edward.

"Wait Alice," I protested as she pushed me through the door. "I can't spend the night with Edward."

"Don't worry," she replied. "He's out hunting."

She quickly shut me into the room and locked the door behind me. I groaned. 'Annoying pixie', I thought. Glancing around the room I saw a great big bed had been placed into the center of the room, surrendering I climbed into it.


	7. Chapter 7

"No Charlie!" I screamed. I felt myself waking up in a pool of sweat. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I reached out for the comfort of Jacob's warm body only to find a cold hard one in its place.

"Edward!" I gasped realizing suddenly where I was.

"Shh, Bella relax. I came back from my hunting trip early, and I never expected to see you here when I got home," Edward said.

"I'm going to kill Alice," I muttered.

"She only had my best interest at heart," he said. "Now what were you dreaming about to make you wake up like that."

I hesitated. "I was dreaming of the night that Charlie died. Victoria killed him right in front of me."

"I'm sorry Bella," Edward said. "I left to protect you and then you nearly die and Charlie does die."

"It's not your fault," I replied. "Alice told me she never saw it coming."

"Carlisle has a new theory about that. We think Alice might not have been seeing you because you've been hanging around those dogs. Since we've been back, she been able to see you whenever they're not around."

"Now tell me Bella, whatever possessed you to become a cop. I would have never imagined you as one. The only indicator was your dislike of speeding," Edward said.

"Nope," I replied. "Too personal."

"Pleased," Edward said, dazzling me with his eyes like he used to.

"It was so I could hear your voice again," I found myself replying.

"I'm afraid that I don't know what you mean," he said.

"After you left, I realized that any time I did anything dangerous, I would hear your voice telling me not to. So I learned to ride a motorcycle, cliff dive, and I even became I cop just so I could hear you," I responded.

"Bella you didn't," Edward winced.

"What was I suppose to do? You left me a wreck. Hearing your voice gave me a high," I replied.

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't know what I can do to achieve your forgiveness," Edward said.

"Stay," I said without thinking.

"I will always be with you if that's what you want," said Edward.

I nuzzled up into his arms, and slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning to my cell phone ringing.

"It's Jacob," Edward said grumpily. I looked over to see where the voice was coming from, and I discovered that Edward had moved from the bed to the couch.

"He's been attempting to call you for the past hour, but I've been hitting the ignore button."

"Edward you shouldn't have," I scolded and hurried to grab my phone before Jake thought that I was ignoring him again.

"Jake," I said.

"So you're finally answering your phone," was his greeting.

"I was asleep," I replied.

"Oh," he said.

"What do you want Jake?" I asked because I didn't feel like beating around the bush.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry. I was upset last night because it seemed you running right back into his arms," Jake said.

I glanced guiltily over at Edward and I thought about how I had been doing that just last night.

"It's okay Jake," I said. "You have every right to feel the way you do. After all, you know how much Edward means to me, but I love you too Jake."

"So do you know which one of us you want to be with?" he asked.

"No," I replied. I glanced over at Edward to see how he took that news, knowing that he was using his acute hearing to listen on to every word.

"Will you know before the wedding or should I be telling people that it's off?" he asked.

"You don't have to do that. The wedding is still on Jake, so long as you want it to be," I replied.

"I do," I could hear the smile that appeared in his voice. "I need to go Bells. Sam wants to talk about the bloodsuckers. I love you."

"I love you too Jake," and I hung up.

"So you're still marrying the dog," Edward stated.

"Yes."

"I thought after last night you might have changed your mind," he said.

"Edward," I replied. "He left me for one night, and then called me this morning to apologize. You left me for six years and only came back because Alice had a vision. You told me that you were leaving for good that you didn't want me. I'm sorry but one night of you comforting me when I was upset isn't going to change anything. I love Jake, he loves me, and I know that even if we fight, he'll coming running back into my life. I know he wants me."

"I want you Bella," Edward said quietly. "I love you and all I want is for you to be happy. You're not happy Bella. I could tell that the moment I laid eyes on you again. You don't look like you've been happy in a long time."

"I wonder whose fault that is," I mutter.

"That's grand," I say a bit louder. "But with Jacob is where I've been the happiest for the past few years. He makes me happy in the darkness that I've been in since you left. Before he into my life, I was an empty shell just going through the motions. I don't want to get close to you again only to have you leave again. Jacob won't leave."

"I'm not going to leave you again Bella. You know that I would make you happier than Jacob Black ever could. I would change you this moment if that's the kind of promise you need," he said.

"Do you honestly believe that's all I want Edward? To live forever? If so, then you don't know me. I only ever wanted it so I could be with you forever," I replied.

"I know," he said. "Believe me. I am not offering you this lightly. If you agreed to this, I would want you to marry me."

I didn't know how to respond to this. The last thing I had expected was for Edward to offer me immortality let alone marriage.

"No," I said after a moment. "You're only offering me this to stop me from marrying a werewolf. I've spent the past five years listening to the pack curse vampires. I have no doubt that vampires dislike for werewolves is the same. Don't offer me this just because you can't bear the thought that I like werewolves better."

"I'm offering you this Bella because I love you and ever since I saw you again, all I could think of is that I can't lose you again. I lived six years without you, and I don't want to have to go through anymore," Edward replied.

"You were the one who chose the mortal life for me. You had to know that meant I might fall in love with another guy or that I would live a life alone and eventually die," I replied.

"I know, but I never planned on coming back. I know that when died though that I was going to go find my own demise," he replied. "I could bear the thought of living so long as you were alive so I figured that I would wait until you were dead to die myself. I figured that way if you were ever in danger I could come back and save you."

"I don't need a guardian vampire," I replied.

"I'm sorry Bella," he said. "You just mean so much to me. If I had know how you felt, I would have taken better care to make sure you didn't know of our return. I should have realized that you don't care for me the same way I love you."

"Do you really think that?" I asked. I knew that in his head he was thinking about how much a of a monster he was and how he wasn't worthy of me. "I died that day you left me. Jake can tell you. We joke that I'm a walking zombie because for the most part since you left me I've been one."

"So will you marry me then?" Edward asked.

"No, because if you leave me after that then I would be in worse shape than I was the first time. I lost you once. I couldn't bear to lose you again," I replied.

"You won't lose me again," he said. "Remember I promised to turn you into a vampire as well. You would be able to chase after me if I left you again."

"Why are you so willing to change me now? You weren't before," I replied.

"Because I realized that I can't bear the thought of losing you again, and" he hesitates, "Alice has me watching Buffy."

"Buffy, as in the vampire slayer?" I asked in disbelief. I fought back an urge to laugh.

"I know," he said. "But it did raise some interesting points when it comes to the issue of souls. It made me wonder if maybe vampires did have them because how else would my family be willing to chose our lifestyle."

"So you took inspiration from Angel?" I asked still trying to hold back my peals of laughter.

"I was more of a Spike fan actually," he replied, and he shot me my favorite crooked smile.

"So what are you going do Bella?"he asked.

"Honestly," I said. " I don't know."

"I understand," he replied. "I hurt you a lot, and I realize that It'll take time to fix it. Just please don't rush into anything while you're deciding."

"I won't," I said. "Anyways, I have to go I promised Alice I would go shopping with her today."

"Ok," he said. "Tell her thank you for me by the way. I'm glad she planned this little setup. I love you Bella."

He kissed me lightly on the forehead before I walked out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

"Bella!" Alice chimed barging into the room. "I am so excited you agreed to let me take you shopping!"

"Calm down Alice," I replied. "I'm pretty sure you made that a condition of me staying over."

"Still the point of the matter is that you're going!"Alice happily replied. She reached out and pulled me into a hug only to let go just as quickly. "Come on Bella! We have a busy day if we want to go to LA and back."

"What LA?" I replied. Quickly, in my head I was calculating how long it would take to drive there and back knowing Jake would be worried if I didn't come home tonight.

"Of course," Alice replied. "I haven't been able to shop with you around for ages. We have to do it up right."

"And Seattle wouldn't do?" I asked. Alice just gave me a look like I suggested we go shopping at Target.

"Bella, we have to hit THE shops," Alice said. "Of course, Seattle won't do."

"Alice," I said as she lead me out the door.

"Yes, Bella," she replied.

"I know vampires drive fast, but how do you propose we turn a nearly twenty hour car ride into one that allows us to get back this evening?" I asked.

Alice looked at me for a second. "I suppose you're right Bella. We're just going to have to fly a portion of the way there."

"Fly?" I responded.

"Well, you did just point out that it was a twenty hour car ride."

I searched around in my head desperate for a way to prevent Alice from dragging me all the way down to LA for the day.

"How about we go to Seattle today, and we make plans for LA another weekend?" I reasoned, but in my head I was already planning on getting out of any future LA plans.

Alice scrunched her head. "Don't think I don't know what you're planning Bella. I can already see you running away to La Push at the mere prospect of any future LA trips. At the same time, however, I also see myself thwarting your plans for escape so by all means I suppose we can go to Seattle today."

I sighed a breath of relief. I didn't care what Alice's vision said. There was no way I was going to allow for her to drag me down to LA. The normally three hour and a half hour car ride took only an hour and a half. I didn't dare once look at the speedometer for fear of how bad of a ticket I would have had to written her if I had been on duty.

Alice brought me to Barneys New York which I was shocked to find one that wasn't in New York when I mentioned this to Alice she just gave me a look and said, "Silly Bella." From there, she made me try on practically every piece of clothing in the store, and anything she deemed suitable was placed in a keeper pile while discarding everything else. What worried me was that the keeper pile was bigger than that of the discarded.

"Alice," I said.

"Yes, Bella," she replied while handing me a blue cocktail dress to try on.

"Don't you think that we've done enough shopping. You know I can't afford all of those clothes," I replied.

"Bella, it's been six years. That pile is only a portion of the money that I should have spent on you during that time. Now go try on this dress. I promise you it's the last article of clothing I will make you try on."

"Fine," I relented excited at the excuse to get away. I came out of the dressing room to spy Alice smiling.

"It's perfect Bella," Alice exclaimed. "Just look at it."

I looked in the mirror and saw that she was right. It was a David Szeto dress that came down midway to my thighs. Normally, I would have been slightly bothered to have so much leg showing, but on this dress it just seemed right. The front was a gathered v-neck with a draped front, shirring at the shoulders, and a belted waist.

"Aren't you glad you tried it on?" Alice asked.

I looked at her and smiled.

"Yes," I replied. I looked down at the price tag and gulped. The dress cost $1525. "Alice I can't let you buy this for me."

"Yes, you will," Alice told me. "It looks perfect on you Bella, and even if you put it back, you would just find it amongst the bags when we got home. Don't argue with me."

"Fine," I said defeated. I had already realized there was no point in arguing with Alice when it came to clothes.

"Good," Alice replied. "Now on to shoes."

"Shoes?" I questioned. "I thought you said we were done after I tried on this dress."

"Silly Bella," Alice replied. "I said we were done with clothes after that."

I changed back into my own clothes, and from there Alice dragged me to the shoe section where she had me try on practically every pair. As it turns out, I'm pretty sure she bought me the same pair in at least fourteen different colors. From there, she brought me to the handbags, and it wasn't until after we also visited the makeup counter that she declared we were done.

Luckily, she had arranged for someone to take care of all our shopping bags to the car. I'm glad we didn't have to carry them all by ourselves. I shuddered to think of how they would even fit into her little yellow porsche let alone having to carry them.

With Alice's driving, we managed to get home at around six, but still I knew that by now Jake would be home and getting worried.

"Alice, can you just drop me off at home?" I asked.

"Don't you want to come back to the house first so that we might get your other clothes?" she asked.

"What are you talking about? I brought all of my things with me?" I replied and looked at her confused.

"Well, you know how we talked about how we haven't seen each other in six years," Alice said looking all nervous. It seemed weird to see a seemingly perfect looking being squirm. "Well, during that time, I kind of did a little shopping for you."

"Wait," I replied. "I thought I agreed to let you buy me stuff today because you haven't been shopping for me in so long."

"Well," Alice said. "It's true that I haven't been shopping with you in a long time."

I just groaned. "Whatever. Can you just drop me off at home? I'm sure Jake's getting worried. I promise I will come by for the other stuff later on this week."

"Tomorrow," Alice said.

"I'm not so sure if I can make it by that soon. I have to work tomorrow," I told her, but the look on her face said that was unacceptable.

"Bella, come over when you're done with work," Alice ordered. "I promise that we'll let you leave in time for you to have Jake's bowl of dogfood out and waiting when he gets home."

"Jake's more human than you are Alice. He eats the same stuff that I do," I said.

"That doesn't make him any less of a dog," Alice replied, but she brought me back to my house.

When we pulled into the driveway, I could see that Jake was already home.

"Is it okay if I grab this stuff tomorrow as well? I would ask Jake to help with the bags, but I don't think that will go over well," I told Alice. She merely nodded in agreement, so I said my good-byes and she headed off.

"Jake, I'm home!" I called as I walked through the door.

"Bella!" Jake exclaimed as he saw. He rushed over to me and engulfed me into a full on bear hug. "I'm so glad you're home, even if you do smell like bloodsuckers. At least tell me that you didn't hang out with Edward the whole time."

"No," I replied honestly. "Most of the day I spent with Alice shopping."

"Shopping?" Jake asked in disbelief. He was no stranger to my lack of love for it.  
"Yes, shopping. I left my bags in Alice's car because I didn't think things would go over well if I asked for you to help me carry them in. I'm going by tomorrow to pick them up," I replied. Jake studied my face for a moment, and I almost wondered if he was trying to figure out whether or not I was lying to him.

"Okay, Bella," Jake said. "Just promise me that's all your doing. I don't want my fiancee being buddy buddy with vampires. As it is, I barely like how much time you've spent around them already."

"Alice is my best friend. I'm not going to cut her out of my life," I told him. I could see from his face that he didn't like this response, yet for some reason I had to keep on going. "I plan to ask her to be my maid of honor."

"I thought that Emily was going to be your maid of honor," Jake said. In a flash, my mind went back to a month ago when I had asked her. Back then I had been so excited at the prospect of having her, but now I couldn't picture anyone else but Alice as my maid of honor.

"It's our wedding isn't it?" I asked. "Who says I can't have two?"

"The treaty," Jake said. "We're getting married on a beach in La Push. Alice won't be able to come."

I had forgotten about the stupid treaty. I didn't want to cause a vampire werewolf war though. "Can't we change the location?" I asked.

"To where, the Cullens house? What next Bella? Are you going to propose we switch out the groom as well?" Jake shot back. I looked at him. I knew that things at the current moment were hard on him, and I hated hurting him.

"Don't be ridiculous Jake," I told him. "You're the one I'm marrying. You're right. Asking Alice to be my maid of honor is stupid. She would probably refuse anyways. In her mind I should be marrying Edward."

Jake gave me a look that suggested that I thought the same thing. "Don't be this way. I want to marry you. Alice is only like this because she doesn't like werewolves, and I don't even think that's the complete reason. She's Edward's sister. She has to be loyal to him. It would be like if Emily started to root for Edward as opposed to you."

"Emily is rooting for Edward," Jake said quietly.

"What?" I asked. I stared at him in disbelief. Emily was with Sam that meant she should hate the vampires just as much as the pack does.

"She told me about the conversation you had with her the day Sam told us about Leah and Seth. The two of you talked about Edward and how you had sort of imprinted on him. She knows how strong the connection between her and Sam is and can only imagine how you must feel when you're with Edward. Vampire or not, she doesn't think I should stand in the way of that. Earlier today she suggested I step aside. Granted everyone but Sam practically blew up on her for saying that. Leah was especailly atrocious, but then Leah's not that big of a fan of this one person your meant to be with idea anyways. I don't care what Emily says though. I'm not stepping aside Bella. Not if you still want me," Jake said.

I just looked at him. I could only imagine how hard it must have been on him early, hearing Emily say all those things. Part of me was mad that she had broken the trust between us by exposing her conversation, but I didn't care. I knew that she had only been doing what she believed was right.

I closed the distance between Jake and me. Wrapping my arms around him, I stood on my tiptoes and placed a light kiss upon his lips. "I love you Jake, and I don't care what Alice or Emily think. Right now you're the man I plan on marrying and that is all that matters to me."

Jake pulled me tighter into his arms. "I know Bella. I just hope you still feel that way come our wedding day."


	10. Chapter 10

After dinner Jake and I spent some quality us time together. It felt right in so many ways to have us sit on the couch after dinner. Jake watching the latest sports game, me reading a novel. At around nine, Jake left for patrol duty, and I passed out in bed waiting for him to return. At about two, he climbed into bed next to me, and we cuddled amongst other things. It felt good to have the time with Jake. It felt normal. What made it better was that after supper the Cullens didn't manage to come up even once in the conversation. If felt like things had gone back to normal.

Unfortunately, the feelings of normalcy were gone by the time I awoke in the morning. For starters, I had my promise with Alice to keep. I was supposed to see her later in the day to get the rest of the clothes. I could feel myself groaning inwardly. The last thing I wanted was more expensive clothing. Not to mention what my going over to the Cullens would do to Jake. It wasn't right for me to keep interacting with them like this. Not when I knew how much it hurt him.

I glanced down at where he lay in the bed next to me. The light streaming in from the window played with the contours of his body. I thought about the way Edward looked in the light. Edward sparkled. Jacob on the other hand was perfectly human in it which seemed to contradict with his true state. At the same time, it acted as a reminder of how in many ways the choice between Jacob and Edward was not only that of who I loved more, but also between human and immortal. Which life did I value more?

The problem was I could see both the lives so clearly. Granted, Jacob was a werewolf but with him we could have kids. He could stop phasing so that we could grow old together. We could have the life that I know Charlie would have wanted for me had he been alive.

Edward on the other hand, there would be no kids. There would never be any normal. There would just be constant moving from place to place always hoping that we were never discovered. In many ways we would be living as fugitives. Plus, I know that were Charlie still alive, he would never approve of Edward and I being together. Not after the way Edward broke my heart.

So what do I want? Alice and Emily seem to think that what would make me happy is a life with Edward. Part of me knows that they're right, but I love Jake. He's always been there for me. Plus as I get older a part of me wants normal.

These thoughts continued to plague my mind on the drive to work. I had opted to take my bike due to the odd sunny weather. Part of me was hoping I could use the sun as an excuse to not go and see Alice.

I walked into the station to find Mike staring blankly at his computer. It seemed out of character for him to be so out of it. Normally, he pounced on me the second I walked through the door. Always having to be the first person to say hi.

"Are you okay?" I asked stopping at his desk before proceeding into my office. "You seem out of it."

"I don't really want to talk about it," Mike replied. "I don't want this getting out."

I glanced to the doorway of my office. A part of me debated just going in there and ending the interaction with Mike then. After all I had my own problems to sort out, but I glanced down at Mike's sullen face and thought better of it.

"Come with me," I told him. He got up, and I led him into my office shutting the door behind us. Mike took a seat in the green office chair while I sat in the one behind my desk.

Placing his head in his hands Mike muttered out, "Jessica's pregnant."

I stared at him strangely. "I thought you wanted more kids."

Mike looked up at me. His whole face just looked broken. It reminded me of the face that I had grown accustomed to seeing in the mirror before Jake came along.

"The baby might not be mine," he replied. "She's been sleeping with Tyler."

I stared at Mike in disbelief. Jessica had wanted him for so long. She didn't seem like the type who would have upped and ditched him for Tyler.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Mike just stared at me sadly. "She told me herself. Apparently, it's been going on for a year now. Whenever I'm rostered on at night, she's gone over there. She claims it's because I haven't been very attentive and when I am home, I'm more concerned with how Mike Jr. is doing then I am with her. I just want to be a good father. Is it really that bad that I prefer to stay at home with our son then go out partying with people?"

"No. Not at all," I told him. "You haven't done anything wrong. It'll be okay."

"I can't lose her," Mike said, and he just broke down crying. It surprised me to see how heartbroken Mike was. I had always thought that Mike was only with Jessica because he didn't want to lose a good thing, but it looked like he really cared about her.

"You two can both work this out if you want to," I told him.

"Yeah, but does she want to?" Mike asked. "And what if it's not my baby? What if it's Tyler's? Will I be able to deal with her having some other guy's kid? But I can't lose her Bella, I just can't."

Mike just broke even harder into sobs. He stayed in my office for a while, and I did the best I could to comfort him. Mike's heartbreak just helped to make the reality of my situation sink in even more. After all, with which choice would I be more heartbroken over?

After Mike left my office, I decided to call Alice. I couldn't hurt Jake. I couldn't go back to the Cullens. After all, I was pretty sure that I cared for Jacob a lot more than Mike cared for Jessica. Did I really want to risk losing him? Especially, after everything we had been through together.

She picked up first ring. "No," she stated firmly.

"I can't hurt him Alice," I told her.

"What about me? It'll hurt my feelings if you don't come," she stated.

"I've already hurt his too much," I replied. "Besides you didn't seem to care about my feelings at all when you left for six years."

Alice was silent for a moment, "That was low Bella. Made even lower considering Edward has been listening in on my thoughts throughout this entire conversation."

My mind went to where Edward must be. It was Alice who I was cancelling plans with. It didn't seem right that he should be involved. At the same time, I felt myself being able to not deal with the thought of hurting him. Alice's comment could only mean that I had hurt them both. It didn't seem right that I should have to choose between these two lives. Not when both seemed as though they could fit.

I sighed. "I'll come."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Alice squealed. "I'll see you at four."

I hung up the phone with Alice and fell into a daze. Was I as bad as Jessica? Granted it wasn't like I had slept with Edward, but I had caved under Alice because she implied that my decision was hurting him. Part of me wanted to pull a coin out of my pocket and just start flipping it. Heads Edward, tails Jake, but I felt that all that would happen is that I would find myself flipping it again and again despite the response it gave me. My problems were too far gone for even a coin flip to solve.

I was still mulling over everything when I knocked on the Cullen's front door.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed excitedly as she let me in. "I'm so glad you decided to come. I can't wait until you see this one Hermes scarf I picked out for you. It'll look amazing."

As I walked into the house my eyes quickly found themselves on Edward. My Adonis. His eyes met mine.

"Or perhaps the Hermes scarf can wait afterall," Alice said and she fled from the room before I could say anything.

"Bella," Edward said stepping toward me. He looked incredible with his topaz eyes, his perfectly sculpted body, the designer clothes that fit him perfectly. I could feel myself wanting to swoon.

"Edward," I tried to say in a tone that matched his. His hand found a hair that had fallen loose from my ponytail.

"Please don't tell me you've chosen Jake," Edward muttered. I stared up at him wondering what had brought upon this line of questioning.

"Last I checked, I've only ever leaned toward picking Jake," I replied. It was a lie. When Edward wasn't in front of me everything felt so easy. When I couldn't look at him like I was now, even though I was conflicted, most of me felt as though the person I should choose is Jake. The time I spent with Jake last night only strengthened that resolve. Things just seemed to fit with Jake. He was always there for me. Granted even without Edward in front of me I was still debating who to pick, but I had left work feeling like I was betraying Jake like Jessica betrayed Mike. It felt as though if I picked Edward, I would just be messing up a good thing. But standing here, in front of Edward, feeling his fingers run through my hair, it felt like my only option was to pick Edward. I had to strengthen my resolve.

"I think the choice is pretty obvious Edward. You left, Jake didn't," I said trying to convince both of us.

"Oh Bella," Edward said. "You know I only left to protect you little good that did."

I stepped away from his reach. He could have easily closed the distance, but he didn't. "We can't do this Edward. I came over today for Alice. I didn't want to hurt her. Standing here talking to you though isn't being with Alice. It's hurting Jake. I can't do that. Not after everything he's done for me. I'm sorry Edward."

Edward quickly closed the gap I had made between us. His cold arms pulled me into an embrace. "Don't you see though Bella. No matter what happens here someone is going to be hurt. Right now I'm the one who is hurting. I want to be with you Bella. I have gone five almost six years without having you in my life, and I don't think I could really go another minute. I would have followed you home last night if it hadn't been for the fact that the dog would have smelled me in the woods. Each minute I'm not with you it fails like an eternity. Each moment I have spent with you since I've returned has seemed too short. I wish I had realized the full extent of my actions when I left you all those years ago, but I didn't. If I had known . . . Bella I love you."

He kissed my forehead. I could feel the tears falling down the side of my cheeks. My arms were motionless by my side. A part of me wanted to take them and wrap them around Edward. To embrace him back. The other part of me wanted to push against his chest. Shove him away from me. Tell him that this was wrong. I loved Jacob.

My arms crept up and around his back. Edward tightened his grip around me.

"Please Bella, don't leave me," he begged in a whisper. The tears fell more freely down my face.

"I don't know what to do," I muttered. "I love you, but I love Jake too."

"Bella," Edward said pulling away from me a little bit. He cupped my cheek. I looked into his topaz eyes. "I know this is hard for you. As someone once said the path of love never runs smoothly. Things are going to be hard Bella. They always have been for us. Ever since the moment I first smelled you. All this separation has taught me though is that things will be much harder if you're not in my life."

The tears continued to fall freely down my cheeks. "And what if I don't choose you?" I asked. "What if I choose Jacob?"

Edward looked at me sadly. "I would go to Italy to the Volturi. I've lived without you once. I don't think I could do it again."

"That's not fair," I told him. "You can't threaten suicide if I don't pick you."

"It may not be fair, Bella, but it's the truth. I have found my life not worth living if you're not in it. You are my everything."

He bent his head down towards mine. My thoughts instantly raced to what he was about to do. I knew he was going to kiss me. I knew I was engaged to Jacob and I should push him away. Yet, I also knew I wasn't going to.

His lips crushed down upon mine. I could feel the air being sucked out of my lungs, but nevertheless I felt my hands fly to the back of his head which I proceeded to pull even closer to my own. I needed to feel him. To taste every inch of him. I wanted so much more than what the kiss offered. At that particular moment I needed all of him. Yet, as soon as I pulled his head down harder upon my own, he pulled away.

He took my hands off the back of his head. "Breathe Bella," Edward said with a laugh.

I found myself gasping for breath.

"It's nice to know that my kisses still have the same affect on you," he said smiling. I could feel my speeding pulse and pounding heart. I knew that his smile meant he enjoyed the blush that accompanied my cheeks and the sounds of my hearts internal beats.

"Tell me Bella does Jacob make you feel that way?" Edward asked with a smile.

"That's not fair," I told him. His smile just grew bigger indicating that he could care less about what was and was not fair.

"What isn't fair," he said. "Is the fact that I have had to wait almost six years to do that."

I could feel the blush rise even more to my cheeks. "Edward I . . ."

"We have a problem," Alice said rushing into the room all of a sudden. Edward shot daggers at her.

"Edward," Alice said. "You already know why I am interrupting this moment between the two of you, so you already know that I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't important."

"Alice what's wrong?" Carlisle asked entering the room followed by the others. "Jasper said you had something important to tell us."

I glanced around at the people in the room. This was wrong. I shouldn't be here I thought. Obviously, what was about to happen didn't concern me, they were no longer my family.

"I'm going to go," I muttered to Edward and made to leave.

"Hold on," he said. "This concerns you too."

Alice glanced over to where I stood. "He's right Bella. You should stay. In fact, I don't think you should leave here for a while."

Alice glanced over to where Carlisle stood. "The Volturi are on their way to Forks and they're bringing their wives. They plan on eradicating the wolves and anyone who stands in their way."

Alice glanced back over at me. "In my vision, they kill you Bella."


End file.
